Let's do Magic and bend that straight-ass spoon

..9 months later- Return of the Spoon lady

2006-12-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

NOPE sorry to disappoint but i was not on maternity leave *grin*. Fact is, I succumbed to the common blogging virus that may have plagued half the world's population, I got the L.a.z.y. flu.

With so many things happening in between, I forgot about my dear old blog. And when i do remember, id be this lazy slob, content with cramping my brains with all the 'exciting' tidbits of my life. So much has happened since then.

Let's see.. after a thorough physical and emotional examination of my self, i still have my square jaw, lost abit of weight (yes!) and have gotten myself officially engaged to Yan *grin*. Emotionally, I have been going through a restless phase in my life where im questioning my career path and what is it that I really wana be doing. I guess it suxs to be feeling this way cos im already gona hit 27 and thats what? A third of my life gone by? And to feel emotionally empty at this stage is really crazy. Maybe i ought to be doing something more than what I am doing now with my life but what exactly? I still don't know. Its now more of me working my ass off, wait for that monthly salary to kick in, pay my bills, put some aside, live life as it is till I go around the bend again.

There's got to be more out there.

Im getting hitched next Aug, if all goes well. Though I love Yan, I fear that I will feel emotionally worst off than I am now. Marriage is not the end of everything but will it be the end of new progressions in my life. I know Yan won't hold me back in fact he encourages me to be more than I can be. God knows he has so much confidence in me constantly predicting that I will one day be the CEO of my company. Unfortunately, if I am honest with myself, I'm the one who has been shortchanging myself. Every now and then, my self confidence dissipate and I'll be worrying if i can perform in a high flying job that I'm keen on. I've passed up on many opportunities simple cos I lack the guts to complete what I have started.

Well no more. The world is still revolving and people are still people. If the worst of them are trying hard to make the best of themselves , theres no reason why I should be any different. Since the Courage to make a big change is proving to be a rare commodity, I will make it my top 2007 resolution.

So wish me luck people and all the best in your resolutions too. May they come true faster than a speeding bullet and bend your spoons right off your plate!

my other resolutions
1. I wana be a happy morning person cos im always a grump in the morning
2. To like more people despite their shortcomings
3. Shut up when ive got nothing nice to say about someone
4. Seriously start saving up for my future
4. Spend more time with my family
5. Improve myself spiritually by cutting down on social vices (don't ask)
6. Be more punctual cos Im a habitual late-comer
7. Eat less and exercise more (don't wana be called kueh lapis anymore)
8. Be more positive about life's ups and downs
9. Be more decisive and firm about my life choices
10. Keep the Courage to create a big change burning hot

The Hills Have Eyes- Not a great time for travelling

2006-03-30T19:09:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since the Movie Junkies been at it so the day before Yan and I headed down to TM to catch this gorish flick -The Hills Have Eyes, by Alexandre Aja, a remake of the Wes Craven's 1977 vehicle.

Those who havent seen it, well its about a family who had to fight for their lives while stranded in a blistering desert zone during their vacation. The enemy? Very savage and bloodthirsty family of cannibals, some of which were were born deformed and crazy due to a prior government atomic experiment. The desert itself was a great choice cos the horror stories that really spooks would be those in the desert where you have nowhere to run or hide and its an endless run on unforgiving sand and rock. When you're hunted down almost intelligently by terrifying cannibal mutants, the movie is guaranteed to sear a permanent scar.

I was hesitant to watch it. Having read the script online, i was imagining how sick this movie would be. While I've always been fascinated with serial killers and their motivation (its a mystery how damaged the mind can be if its drawn to necrophilism and cannibalism), I didnt wana feel depressed a day after turning 26 cos getting older was already doing a fine job of making me feel that way.

So Yan had to drag me to watch the flick and in his usual way, prophesise that I would end up liking it as always. Which i did. Its a gritty family yarn on survival where two factions pit against each other. Try transporting that grit to the corporate jungle? (hmm stalking with a machete in my hand, a la Jack Nicholson in The Shining hehe awesome). I think if you really want catch this horror/slasher flicks, its always good to go on a day where you are relaxed and free of worries. Cos if you go in feelin all wired up, it may have an adverse affect where depression descends faster. Imagine watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Ted Bundy's lifestory when you're feeling suicidal..sigh.

For the first time, I ordered a hot dog at the counter but they told me they could only deliver it to me 20min later. By then, the movie would have started and to eat a chilli hot dog while watching the movie would be too horrible to contemplate. Arrrgg, no choice, I was already committed to the hot dog.

Luckily for me it arrived during the commercials and I proceeded to munch hurriedly before the movie started. Yan laughed and helped me to finish slightly half of the hot dog when the movie came on. True enough, my hunger pangs dissipated with the first killings.

Gory yes, but I still watch with fascination at the brutality of the plot. That's one of the ironies of watching a horror/slasher movie, even though you're nauseated by it, you still
cant close your eyes.

Sometimes these movies can really scare you off travelling for a while. Movies like Hostel (where the body parts of foreign tourists are sold for high amounts according to their nationalities, you know like..an American head $50,000!) and rumours of urban legend-style killings go around would suddenly make Batam look like Wonderland. Yeah, I know you're probably thinking- babe everywhere else in this world is unsafe, Batam may even be a bomb waiting to explode but if you're gona fear every element, then your unfounded fears would really stunt your horizons. Luckily these feelings will only last briefly before another trip to a gory movie unravels your courage *grin*

“After that, everybody-assumed I must be a terrifying person who lived in a cave. We both tried to make other kinds of films, but we couldn't get any money. They were offering us money to make scary movies, so I went off and made The Hills Have Eyes , and Sean went off and did Friday the 13th "
- Wes Craven

(http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes)

A Year Older

2006-03-28T23:25:00.000+08:00

Turning 26 yesterday turned out to be painless. In a way, it was depressing for me cause its where you really, really know that there is no turning back but you just gota move on forward and get older and older. And when you reach 55, your boobs would have defied gravity, your kids would probably forget about you and enjoy their young, adult life while you're battling up and coming illnesses suddenly popping up like mushrooms.

Depressing? hell yeah

Sitting up in bed, I suddenly felt that wave of nostalgia coming over me. I mulled over my past achievements in life since the very day I was hustled off to Kindergarten over at my old neighbourhood, Bedok. Since then, we moved house twice from Bedok to Tampines and from Tampines to yes, Tampines again (a few blocks away in case you were wondering).

I too did some moving of my own, from getting bullied daily in Kindergarten to being 'invisible' in primary school. I would never forget the day when at 9 years old, I got my first period while putting on my school shoes. I nearly fainted before I was seized by a serious bout of stomach cramps that had me buckling at my knees. My grandma, bless her, kept on saying 'this is amazing!" (in malay of course) repeatedly, yet bundled me off to school despite my pleas. True enough, I fainted in school during the anthem and had to be carried to the sick bay aka teachers' common room. From then on, every month I would black out either in the classroom, canteen or stairs due to the pain.

I finally carved a niche for myself in Secondary school being the much hated or beloved headprefect. I was active in sports and stage activities and while I was not your brilliant child protegee, I did manage to pass through school with good grades enough for me to pursue Mass Comm at the local polytechnic. In between, like most teenagers, I was grappling with annoying baby fat which I lost while in Secondary school, my fair share of acne, self-confidence taking a hit every now and then and of course, bad friendships with mean people who capitalise on others' misery.

Armed with 40 % remaining baby fat, I finished my diploma before working for a year or two doing freelance writing and promoting cable products at a cool workplace in Wisma (still to me one of best working experience I had), earning big bucks- unusually high for a dip holder. I enjoyed my job but was under pressure to utilise what I have studied in school; my communications qualification. So I left a super great job for Perth Australia, where the grass were literally greener and the air smelled fine.

I discovered that independence + being broke cos I mismanaged my funds = to a stronger person and I became happier (yep, being broke ended up making me a happier person) cos for the first time, I felt that I have finally found my inner strength. Of course it helped that Felicia and Adelene were sharing my plight as well and knew what it was like to scrimped.

After graduation, I nervously flew to Sydney having secured a 4-month internship with PR company, Mango Communications, of DDB. I didn't get to make coffee, but did product releases, coordinate events and liaise with the media there among other things. Expensive it may have been, the experience was worth it. Mom wasn't too thrilled about it at first, cos she was hollering on the phone about how getting my honours would have been the best decision instead of working in Sydney for a couple of months. Still, she supported my decision with the much needed funds to survive the city's expensive standard of living.

Best of all, I made great friends with people like Nina, Sri, Rizal and further strengthened my 11-year friendship with my good old pal, Es. Though we have our occasional bickerings, Es is really one of those friends who will stand by me no matter what. It saddens me that some are not able to accept Es as who she is but all i can say is, they're missing out on a great person.

I was so glad to be home but the ever nagging feeling of securing a job was never far away. I knew I would have a hard time getting a job. You could land a job anytime. It could take a week, a month or even a year cause in 2003, times were bad and unemployment rates were soaring.
It took me 6 full months of juggling temp jobs before I landed a permanent position at Original Media. I was hired to kickstart their event management arm and though it was hard, I was glad of the breakthroughs i made. It was then that I got to know Mel, Shuling and Gary. We didn't gel at first cos I thought they were so the 'attitude' but it turned out they thought I was the one looking all snotty. Amazing but after that we got on famously before Jocelyn joined the company soon after. A year later, I moved on to another job in the broadcast industry.

I believe whether or not you wake every morning feeling enthusiastic about your job is largely due to your working environment and colleagues. You could have a great job but if your colleagues suck, you'd still wana tender that letter sooner or later. So I have a feeling I really love my current job cos of the people I work with. People like Didi, Marinah, Rosie, Natra, Yati, Zalinah who always make my day with their infectious and sincere personalities. Of course it helps that my job is far from boring.

Right about the same time I landed my new job in Feb last year, I got to know this guy with whom I instantly clicked with. Though he did not make a big impression on me when we first met, the way he handled Felicia's famous 20/20 questions about his job was pretty savvy, cool and sweet. The way he haughtily ignored me during the three-way conversation at coffee bean was rude, uncalled for and annoying. He redeemed himself when in earnest, hee offered to walk with me to the train station. 3 months down the road, after several rejections, he became my first boyfriend at 24 and we are now 3 months short of a 2 year relationship. Now I really know it always pays to wait and not rush into just about anything just so you have anybody and not someone special in your life.

Of course, my life is typically hitting the highs and lows. Being an adult, you're inundated with money woes, a crappy salary, PMS, weight gain, occasional constipation, squabbles plus dependable friends, a caring boyfriend, great family, financial independence (better to have some money than to have no money at all).

Maybe being a year older is not so bad after all. I was definitely a late bloomer, finally coming to terms with my insecurities and not letting anything or anyone faze me. Still, cos I'm human, occasionally I do get affected by the things people say or do but Ive learned to better control my impulses now. At the back of my mind, I am always reminded of the goodness of people in my life and those I have met along the way. People who are real and sincere in their intentions. I am truly fortunate in this lifetime.

.............

This blog is dedicated to all those who know me, my dearest family and friends who have always cared for me and really accepted me for who I am. I love you and I salute you for making me a part of your lives.

Colourful details were edited out due to lack of space

Anugerah Concert 2006

2006-03-24T18:00:00.000+08:00

ELO PEEPS!

Major Announcement
ONLY FOR ANUGERAH FANS AND LOCAL TALENTS ALIKE

Meet Anugerah Winners!
Khairul, Azmeer, Fauzie and Khairil in one cool concert
with guests artistes from Andreshah, Norfasarie to Bayu

Whats it gona cost me? Tixs going for $18 bucks a piece
Any cool stuff? A cool giftpack from Silkpro
Whens the gig? Saturday, 15 April 2006, 8pm
Whereabouts? The MAX Pavillion @ Singapore Expo

If you wana grab these tixs, either mail me at ndianasuparji@lycos.com or send a comment to this blog-O with your contact details.

If you wana know more 'bout the concert, this is your doorway

Laterz Peeps!

Confessions of a Half Baked Champ: Gutted, Wrapped and Flattened

2006-03-24T15:51:00.000+08:00

Among all the stories that I'd tell my grandchildren (yep, thought that far ahead), I'd probably tell 'em bout the time I took part in a Scissors Paper Stone contest by 98FM's budget department. Hardly a shoestring budget cos they sure upped the ante on rewards, winner walks away with 3K hard cash and 2k worth of prizes. It was the first time such a contest has ever been carried out and since, I needed the moola, and for the love of the game, why the heck not?

Of course in the end, only my sister's boyfriend, Rudy and myself joined the contest, my sister having succumbed to the dark side, fooled me bout joining but emphasised that she would be offering strong moral support and game strategies along the way. Yan was no different, insisting on offering moral support :) Right.

So on a bright Saturday morning, We headed down to Wisma for me to sign on for the game. I received my Power 98 goodie bag containing lotsa discounted freebies and a red Power98 tshirt. Participants had to wear the t-shirt. I was Contestant 007. That brought a measure of relief cos if the powers that be were to be relied on, 007 was and still is, the number of a good agent in the making and a lucky, heavenly number. Rudy was no. 017. Manz pretty cool cos 7's always good. Early birds below No. 50 who came down to register received a so-called immunity where if they get kicked out in the first round-they'd get a second chance through a lucky draw.

It was kinda nice to see a friendly crowd of participants, who still smiled even though it was a very hot day and we were all donning thick t-shirts. The atmosphere was buzzin with excitement cos they were bringin to life a childhood game! I was part of the first group to start playing the game in a group of 10. My sparring partner was this Chinese guy with a friendly smile but pretty intense frown (yeah smile and frown imagine that?)

We were all lined up to face opposite each partner with a score marshall attached. At the word STONE, we had to display our choices and any delays would be considered a foul. The person who scores 4 points first (after or before 7 rounds) will be the winner. At first it was a tie, but he pulled ahead with 2 points ahead. I thought i was a goner but with a sudden burst of energy, I hit a straight set and got 4 points first. He was good but not good enough :)Phew. With beads of perspiration rolling down my back, I wasn't gona go off without a fight. 6 more rounds and 90 over participants to go. Manz, the odds of winning this contest, you have got to be downright lucky.

Rudy won the first round too so that means our sparring partners got kicked out and had to depend on the lucky draw to get back in. We waited for our turns and with bated breath, round 2.

Waiting around in the hot sun for the next round, I realised that if i lost the next round, that was it cos the immunity was only for round 1 and getting half-baked by the maddening sun was not gona be worth it.

I wish I didn't get into that mindset but I did. I lost to a hulk of a man with a sweet smile but a lethal Stone strategy. Crapz, shoulda thrown out a paper. I was so gona throw a paper but when the time came, I went blank and bleated out a stone too. So it was a draw for like 4 times, before he scored 1 and I scored next. Forgetting that it was a 7-round thing, I was shocked when the next time he scored, the marshall announced him as the winner. Yeah, easy but a deceptively tough game.

Sore loser? Naw, I congratulated the guy cos he deserved it. His eyes were half-closed the entire time and I thought he was in a trance like them MOS people. Yeah he played good. Ironically Rudy lost Round 2 as well and even more ironic, was that the two sparring partners we kicked out in Round 1 got lucky in the lucky draw and got back in. *Grin* I swear powers that be were tuggin at my chains.

Lest you think I didnt get the main feel of the game, I did. It was fun and all in the name of good experience. I'm glad my sis made me join the contest. I woulda shoot myself in the foot if i didnt join cos it was darn fun cos for once, Scissors Paper Stone counted for something other than settling a sibling squabble *lol*. Best of all, was having people who i care about there to see me in action (and also squawk later about how I shoulda thrown a paper).

Kudos to Power98 for thinkin and actin out loud this game. Hope its gona be a yearly event with an even BIGGER Budget to spare :)

Confessions of a Mad Employee

2006-03-17T12:06:00.000+08:00

I love my job. Its an exciting, non-stop stomach grinding-ulcer-inducing-painfest train wreck..er ride. Sure its a love affair but some days, its a love-hate situation. To go all 80s, its kinda like Bon Jovi crooning It's a bitch, but life's a roller coaster ride. The ups and downs will make you scream sometimes. It's hard believing that the thrill is gone. But we got to go around again, so let's hold on.

Wondering which side of the coin I'm feelin right now? Think of me standing high up on my table, barefoot, and screaming bloody murder before I pop each and every single person walking by with a suction bullet on their forehead. Pop Pop Pop...pling! Before I laugh out loudly going HA HA HA HA HA HA HA as they amble on with their new forehead accessory, springing up and down.

Just plagiarising from a dream I had..sigh talk about morning entertainment.

-Over and out-

'Trashy' fiction is my cross to bear

2006-02-14T11:15:00.000+08:00

I am a huge fan of romance novels and I get flak for it.

Some of my guy and gal pals honestly think of the romance genre as being purely trashy fiction with lusty covers; brawny bare-bodied men, big breasted heroines in tight fitting corsets, lame villains and plots so full of potholes they rival Mexico's. Why bother reading when its a typically happy ending for only the good men and women of these nonsensical fantasies with zero intelligence? I'm either accused of pursuing unintelligent escapism that borders on porn at its best when the world is full of domestic violence, high divorce rates, marching feminist movements and women dunking their dates' head with fruit punch for a sexual innuendo passed during dessert (hmm dessert... yep u get the pic?) OR that i'm a naive, repressed twit desperate for much needed erotica (puhh lease). Most would declare its all a load of bullshit and that written chilvalry, while dead, probably never really existed in the first place.

I'll admit they are right on one account, that the romance novel for all intents and purposes is escapism. Still, what do they expect when I make a beeline for the fiction section, something 110% more intelligent than a non-fiction? The romance novel happens to be a good way to de-stress from the rigours of everyday life. They can be funny, witty, touching and inspiring not to mention intelligently put together. A load of crap with bad influences? Well unless the reader is significantly naive, he or she while enjoying the narration, will still emerge with their common sense intact.

I saw a forum thread once on women who read romance novels and how 'bimbotic' they must be to indulge in such impractical sexual fantasies. Surprisingly the main critics were women themselves, man they were tougher on their own sex than the men. They actually blasted other women who read romance novels, believing readers like myself to be subservient and lacking in self-pride for reading such trash. In this day and age, you would think females who always strive for independence and freedom in thoughts and speech wouldn't be so prudish and unnecessarily narrow-minded.Once, I got the evil eye from an older woman in a train sitting next to me while I was reading a medieval romance. Since it was from the medieval period, the cover fits the usual stereotype of a bare-bodied hero in riding breeches passionately embracing his erm..voluptuous lady love. The older woman was exuding this holier-than-thou attitude and her 'tsk tsk' every now and then was a major irritant. Tired of her constant surveillance, I turned to look at her expecting her to look away but instead encountered a censorous glare (someone call 911!)

For years, lots of people from my own gal pals to my sister have expressed disgust at my choice of reading materials. I have to admit that there are supremely trashy novels out there where the man treats the woman as a sex object with plenty of bed actions in between BUT there are also many romance novels out there with worthy characters and great storylines extolling plenty of social and relationship values without coming off as preachy and desperate.

Not all romance novels have trashy plots, most of them provide intelligent storylines indicating the author's immense depth of research. Whether its the Middle ages, Medieval, Victorian, Renaissance, or Contemporary period, credible authors like Virginia Henley are able to interweave real historical facts with two admirable, fictional characters making the whole story plausible, stimulating and a joy to read. In fact, many authors such as Merline Lovelace (do try to look beyond the name?) military politics, Linda Howard-martial arts, international espionage and deadly politics, Nora Roberts, Jayne Ann Krentz- intelligent and empowering women solving mysteries alongside their male counterparts, all give equal concentration to both the romance and plot aspect of their stories.

Then we have the new sub genre known as Chick Lit, a testimony to quirky fiction like the Bridget Jones Diary. Its still sexy but a more sassy, witty and quirky take on the single woman's quest for love in today's fashionable society like the well-known author of Sex and the City & Lipstick Jungle- Candace Bushnell, The Undomestic Goddess- Samantha Sweeting, Jane Green's Mr Maybe and the recently read Lizzie Jordan's Secret Life - Chris Manby.

[Lizzie Jordan's S. L really reflected my previous quarter-life crisis as it tells of Lizzie who sees herself as a Class A failure in life, love and career unlike her ex-schoolmates. She started out so well only to crash and burn like a supernova, stucked with a crummy job and average boyfriend.
Her ex-boyfriend in college, Brian, whom she still sees as the love of her life was coming for a visit and to impress him, she spawned lies upon lies about her so-called successful life and jetsetting career. Man, did i cringed when her lies were exposed but yeah there were lessons to be learnt- you know like if you lie, you'll get burnt but your friends will still be there for you]

Today, I still get flak for reading a romance novel, even with a decent cover. I still don't get what the fuss is about considering that my reading tastes pretty much extend to other genres such as horror, psychological thrillers and cheeky political commentaries. I have a sneaky feeling that many years from now, I'd still be a faithful reader of the romance genre despite being a multi-fan of the Koontz, Saul, Chomsky, Moore and Brown camps.

Bottomline is, I am all for responsible reading but it is my own prerogative. Never let anyone censor your choice of reading materials cos you'd be shortchanging no one but yourself :)

Currently reading: Divine Evil by Nora Roberts
Forever Odd by Dean Koontz

Signing off
Ms Censor-free

The Konsert Rock Revival 2006 Experience

2006-02-12T21:56:00.000+08:00

Man what a night. Yesterday I had a blast of a time at the Rock Revival concert at the Marquee despite some of its shortcomings. Man, the malay community turned up in full force to support the concert, some of whom queued up at least an hour earlier than the stipulated performance time of 7.30pm. The whole concert rocked and nothing can compare to the pure energy of live music with legendary Malay rockers like Reeha (some were former members of Sweet Charity), The Unwanted, Awie (the former Wings), Amy (Search) to a new generation of strong, local rockers like Man Toyak (Tribe), Fuad Rahman and Shah who are blessed with great vocals.

Joey from BPR (Bumiputra Rockers) couldnt make it at the last minute but it was alright cos we caught his act at the Semangat Zaman concert at the Esplanade last year.

I was one of the lucky few to win a pair of tixs to the concert which kept $90 bucks in my pocket for a while more. If you get the tixs at the door, 1 tix would have cost 10 bucks more at $55 each. The lucky top winner himself won a pair of tix too but he also won a Rock Revival t-shirt + an electric guitar sponsored and autographed especially by Awie, Amy and Joey from BPR! manz..did i drooled at that but Yan as always practically pointed out that I would not know how to play it either but well it would have made a good keepsake arrrgg :)

So anyways, Yan brought his camera along but concert policy stated we gotta leave it at the door, so Yan ended up taking it back to his car. I went ahead to grab a good spot cos people were like streaming in but thank god the Marquee was pretty spacious, so i think everybody got a good view of the stage. At 8.05pm, the lights dimmed and the audience surged forward for the start of a 4-hour rock concert. Yan and I had a good standing spot in the middle and were only inches away from the separation railing....very the kiasu but hey its a rock concert laah.

The first few opening acts were from local bands like Andresha Andin featuring Emma, Alhambra, and Osairis. They did alright but only thing was, the music very nearly drowned out their voices so they should have rocked it harder there. Andresha appeared all decked out in rock gear and ready to smash it up but then sang a pretty friendly almost Bhumiband-like number. Don't get me wrong I like friendly numbers but i think kinda salah frequency. Still, they did good cos anybody who attempts to sing at a rock concert with a fickle crowd (they can love or hate u in a sec!) deserves a pat on the back.

The concert really picked up when Man Toyak Tribe and Fuad made their appearance. I mean they were pure energy and natural born performers, revving up the crowd and interacting with them. They sang old favourites by Sweet Charity and encouraged the crowd to sing along. Their voices were so strong, the music complement them not the other way round. I was caught off guard though when Man Toyak came down the stage to the centre side and sang prettty close to us all and yep he grabbed my hand and all i could do was..giggle shyly..damn paisey hehe.

Yan and I caught Tribe's act before at the Semangat Zaman concert at the Esplanade. At that time, I felt Tribe stood out cos their music were pretty good and Man Toyak had a great voice. This is definitely a boost for the local scene.

I gotta admit I didnt know some of the old hits but those that i know and liked boy did i sing along. Its hard to get over the songs cos while some were rocking good, others were memorable 'jiwang' tunes. Even though they are a different genre altogether, its hard to forget these hits just like its hard to get over the late P.Ramlee's style of music.

So it was non-stop rock revival over the 4 hour concert when more than 20 odd hits were sung, hits like Kamelia, Teratai, Sejuta Wajah- Sweet Charity, Masih Ada Rindu, Penyesalan- The Unwanted, Seribu Tahun Takkan Mungkin- BPR, Cinta Palsu- TZ, Pawana, Isabella, Isi dan Kulit, Gadisku- Search, Melissa- Helter Skelter, Hukum Karma, Sejati-Wings, Tiada lagi kidungmu- Lefthanded etc.

Times have really wrought changes on the performers with the good natured Awie making light bantering with the audience on his weight gain and past loves (ahem figure it out :)), Amy still thin and sexy rendering old hits like Isabella, he mentioned that Search will be having their 25th anniversary reunion concert in K.L this year. For those who wanna find out more, the url is
www.duniasearch.com thanks bee! The Unwanted still had their original ensemble and legendary guitar maestro Rosli Mohalim (of Sweet Charity and now Reeha) formed part of the professional music ensemble supporting all the vocalists.

Crunch time came at 11pm with the concert nearing its last hour before curtain close. Awie did a half hour set sharing the hour with Amy. Somebody shouted good naturedly "Ehh Awie dah bulat!" which made everyone laughed cos Awie had these big biceps kinda like he's a member of the Harley biker club and at one time Awie smiled and nasally said "Diam lah!" when one guy shouted that Awie's tummy was looking gembur..whatever that means. He had his hair tied up in a pony tail and delighted the crowd when he came down to shake hands with the fans..i only managed to grab his finger!! arrrrgg...Amy (see left) on the other hand still maintain maybe he still drags those ciggies but he still had what it takes to bring the house down but was more reserved than Awie though.

The whole concert ended with all the performers donning the Konsert Revival tshirt, cant quite recall what the song was cos i was busy snapping pics away. Initially i activated the night mode on my phone camera but the quality was really bad, they said it was no use taking cos you wont get to capture due to the lighting so camera phones were not a threat to the organisers. Still Nokia 3230 is known to be the best of the worst in this conditions and in real day, it takes really great pictures despite 1.3 mp. All the pics in this blog were all taken by my 3230. So i took lotsa pictures and before long, realised it was over.

Yan and I left the Marquee with the others but we soon heard people screaming and making lotsa noise. We looked at each other...ROCKER ALERT! We headed back and there was Awie meeting the fans signing autographs and all. Thank god there wasn't an insane number of people so we went quickly and got him to autograph one of the tixs, yeah pathetic i know shoulda brought something more solid for him to sign on then he kindly obliged to taking a picture together!! with me!! I shakily raised my 3320 and hoped it wouldn't fail me cos sometimes, it would flash a space limitation warning. Thank god it didnt and the pic looked great hahahahaah i can live happy now :)

Man what a night, i got caught offguard, grabbed a coupla rocker limbs and got me my autograph and pics...best of all Yan was there with me having flown back (see left: at T1) a few days before. I'm so happy he's back in time to go to the concert with me. Though he'll be going away again in a month's time, its great we're still going strong despite the occasional separation.

I love u dear and thanks for the great company. We were cool Mat and Minah rock yesterday!

I'll definitely attend more rock concerts in the future with the following tips in mind :)

1. Not to switch off my mobile phone. The more noise the better, not that it matters at a rock consert

2. Not to wear heels, cos typically rock concerts can up to 4 hours plus so my feet will suffer.

3. No tight fitting or thick clothings. You'll be trapped with hundreds of sweaty, gyrating bodies, its gona be like in an open oven- unless the venue is airconditioned.

4. Bras are especially important what with the jostling and packing crowd cos no wardrobe malfunction fiasco please unless its for a darn handsome rocker, I'm kidding bee!

5. Never to leave expensive cameras at the door. Leave them in the car cos as careful as the crew can be, mistakes can happen and the expensive Nikon may end up in the wrong hands

6. To be appreciative of the effort put in by both the organisers and amateur opening acts, cos singing rock tunes in front of a large audience is never easy. Booing just dont cut it, in fact you you might just find yourself being slam dunked by angry fellow audiences for being a bad sport or worse, the rocker may smash you with his guitar. They need the exposure if not at these concerts then where else?? But bands pun don't salah frequency lah, macam maner people not fed-up

7. Make sure you eat before you go for a rock concert cos with all the heat, sweaty bodies and loud noise, you might just go all dizzy and faint dead away hence missing the show. Analogy: Engin belum start , kunci dah patah heehee

8. To go earlier and be very kiasu cos I wana be at the front. They have all the fun aaaaaaahhh

9. Wear Black

10. Stay behind when the whole thing ends cos inactivity usually means something big's gona happen in a few minutes just like a movie blooper. sigh..luckily got my pic :)

The Virgin Phenomenon

2006-01-27T00:42:00.000+08:00

The vending machine can prove to be an icon for many of life's weird revelations. I seldom make a trip there but when i do, id strike up a chat with one kookie colleague. One of the most memorable conversations was with this particular fellow kookie with whom i've been exchanging one of the most funniest and at times, kinky topics of all times- sex and the modern relationship (yep, this textbook aint available anywhere peeps, its only by the v.m).

We agreed on many things like working on a relationship in order to keep the so called fire burning although at one interesting point, he said that while he loved his current partner very very much, he was sleeping with another person. He maintained though that it had nothing to do with love. I knew better than to pass any judgements cos this kookie colleague of mine happens to be a great person. He'd be giving me advice on how to sustain a relationship and keep the fire burning by constantly reinventing myself and trying out new things with my significant other. I wish i can elaborate on this further but im afraid i myself blushed at his suggestions. Although, one of his suggestions did touch on the subject of female undergarments and how sexy ones can really empower your thoughts and actions, more on this..later *grin*

So anyways, after months and months of ongoing conversations, I casually mentioned that I may not be able to do some of the things that he has suggested cos I was still a virgin. What surprised me was that he had that dumb look on his face at the V word. I mean even if it is a rare phenomenon anywhere else in the world, but being a virgin shouldnt stumped you to the point where you practically go blank for 2 min. He recovered long enough to ask me, why is that so? Now that really stumped me.

What is wrong with being a virgin and not being one. Either way, theres no right or wrong and like i said, in my previous blog, only consequences and justifications. My reason for my current status quo has two parallel lines running along each other. The first would be my religion and similar belief to await marriage and secondly, because i have a low threshold for pain, there is a healthy fear of actually having sex.

Anyways, my kookie colleague swore that there were only a few virgins left and he was amazed that I have held on this long in a relationship approaching 2 years. I was amazed he didnt believe that there were countless of virginsabout. I have many girlfriends who have yet to lose their so called 'cherries' and they're proud that they are holding on in order to give it to the person they truly love and who really deserves to be the first to invade the 'south' *lol* nevermind marriage. On the other hand, I'm lucky cos my girlfriends respect one another's decisions and never judge the other when they decided not to wait for marriage cos they felt the time was right. Love is indeed a powerful emotion.

Its really funny about how so much attention is given to virgins by just about anyone; the mass media, the public,....men. Some men want to be the first to conquer or 'trim' the bush, kinda similar to ancient travellers who stake uncharted territories as their own by just burying a flag in the sand. Perhaps they want to be first and cannot bear the thought of the woman already being with someone else before them and yet they themselves have been marked not once, not twice but repeatedly by other women. Figuring that this virgin thing is definitely worth its weight more than gold, I heard that in some countries, women actually undergo hymen repair surgeries known as Hymenoplasty to tighten their vaginas just so they please their husbands or lovers.

Weird, cos my understanding is that sex is a naturally pleasurable thing and whether you are a virgin or not, the point would be moot cos if you give good sex, then its still a good thing. I guess its more of fulfilling a psychological and perception-driven need- that deflowering (no shit im actually using this term..sigh) a virgin is exciting and empowering. One married woman underwent the surgery as a birthday gift to her husband for their holiday getaway and said that 'its the ultimate gift for a man who has everything'- http://www.bonitanews.com/news. They believe being a reborn virgin adds spice to the marriage, go figure.

Ironically while most men hold these virgins on a high pedestal ( i still dont get why cos women virgin or not, still have their personalities intact), I've meet women who think men who are virgins are losers and do not want to be associated with them. It seems 'doing it' means the guy is experienced, attractive and mature enough. If he hasn't done it, there must be something wrong with him. He's probably this boring loser with no life which is sad really. One girlfriend has a different reason for not wanting her husband to be a virgin though, she said she's worried that with two virgins in the same bed, poking in the wrong hole is absolutely a high possibility.

In short, there are more contradicting gender perceptions flying around between men and women and well, im ashamed to say that I am guilty of some of them. We don't always practice what we preach *grin*.

I am fortunate though to have an understanding and patient boyfriend, who while is sexually frustrated at times, still gives me room to pursue my decision to await marriage. Its not that difficult for me to resist cos I have never tasted the forbidden fruit but for him i guess, it can be a sore trial. Well, enough with the puns :)

In some culture, losing one's virginity before marriage is tantamount to disgracing the whole family. As much as my initial perception on the liberal Western world, i'm inclined to believe there are still conservative practices over there. The term 'hymen' is closely related to a virgin. Hymen, is the name of the the Greek God of Marriage. Once the hymen is torn, the woman is no longer a virgin as the barrier has been breached. Some actually examine the girl's hymen before she gets married to ensure she's still a virgin but what they were unaware of is that the hymen can still tear through vigorous activities like cycling, riding a horse or other form of rough athletics.

Quite simply though, I have found out that one way a guy generally knows whether the girl is a virgin is by trying his damndest to seduce her and if she repeatedly refuses to allow entry even after months and months of seduction, shes more likely to be a virgin cos if she wasn't, she would not be able to resist as she has already experienced the 'pleasurable intensity' of the act itself.

So finally, i told my kookie colleague that im a virgin by choice, that there was nothing wrong in being one. I believe my relationship with my significant other can still be as exciting as the first day we met sans/without sex. I wouldn't say im totally a prude but just cause everybody is 'doing it' doesnt mean I have to do it too. After all, I'm not totally missing out cos out of the five suggestions he gave me, I believe i can still safely use two of them :) What are they?

I dont kiss and tell :)

Botox and the Square Jaw

2006-01-22T14:17:00.000+08:00

It was definitely a Jerry Springer moment. My mom actually warned me off on having Botox treatments the minute i flopped down beside her to watch tv.

I mean, she knows I super hate needles (among many many things) and having any foreign stuff injected into me, so the idea of me going for Botox is definitely going off tangent here. While on an internship with a PR firm in Sydney, one usually savvy and witty colleague actually had a phobia for needles soo bad that he practically gagged when we were at a Botox presentation and rushed out of the room. Needless to say, I didn't think of him as quite so savvy anymore.

Mom for one thing, was on high alert cos of the article she was reading on youngsters as young as 20 going for Botox jabs to smoothen their squarish jawline or lessen the 1 or 2 wrinkles that have popped up (hey do they work wonder for zits as well?) So true to nature, my mom will dispense well-meaning advice as soon as she gets the chance, and in doing so, will once again 'save' me from making one big mistake. Still, while i appreciate the concern, really i do, Mom has nothing to worry about cos i'm a 'cool-worrier' - acts cool on the outside but a seabed of mush on the inside. I will not go for Botox cos fear is truly a remarkable thing and I happen to like my squarish jawline.

Going for Botox is not as easy as waltzing into the doc's office and raising your profile. You gota do your research, go for consultation, be willing to part with anything from $500-$1500 PER jab and make friends with foreign substances whom you know will be there for a short period of time before you're due for another jab to shall we say, keep up appearances.

FYI: Botox is actually a natural (hah!), purified protein. It blocks nerve transmissions to the injected muscle and is confined only to that area. Good thing is, it doesn't travel throughout the body- Can you imagine, injecting your jawline, and a few minutes later, your boobs start to tingle and rise? Whoa no more breast lifting exercises in the morning (hmm interesting..but not quite convinced). Its fast takes about 10minutes, and is a minimally invasive procedure with fast recovery time. First time you'd feel numb and unnatural but your muscles will relax soon after.

Honestly, I have always thought that Botox was an option for the older crowd cos I thought it was all about getting rid of them wrinkles and numbing cells that cause aging. But im surprised to find out that it can also 'shape or raise eyebrows higher', regulate oil secretion to prevent acne (ahhh tempted but still a no go) and soften an unpopular, squarish jawline.

Cos of the above, young students and undergrads are braving the needle, claiming that it feels a lot like ant bites and doesn't hurt. That would explain the zero need for anaesthesia.

While I'm not an expert, I think there is a preoccupation with wanting that cute, elfin look so synonymous with Japanese and Hongkong stars like Ayumi or Cecilia. A squarish jaw just don't cut it cos you come off looking too strong or mature than your age.

I have grown up with people telling me that I am a handsome woman (if you read Jane Austen's novels, believe me, that term doesn't offend), that i have a strong jaw or am i the older child? (cos my older sis has that ovalish-shaped face). Of course i did take it personally and tried all means to soften my jawline like pile on those make-up tricks, suck in my inner jaws to create that moue-moue look and even do dumb stuff like go 'Oh its strong?..no lah alot of people say its nice...you ahh'. I'd be feeling moody, be crappy to my sweet sis and let people get to me and ruin my day but when you're 14, with ongoing puberty hang-ups, trust me, you'd let stuff like this affect you greatly.

It wasn't until I went to uni that I came to terms with how I looked. I'd attribute it to the fact that I was away from home and away from crappy people who put me down. I learned to be 100% independent in taking care of myself and ensuring I make the right decisions. My self-confidence grew and I developed this upbeat and strong attitude which has proven to be the right attitude for this life.

I was definitely a late bloomer but I'm glad I have reached a level of maturity in liking and appreciating myself. Nowadays, I meet more people who like squarish jawlines or have strong jawlines themselves :)

Sure its corny but i guess sometimes certain things happen for a reason including the shape of your face or how you look. I'd choose to think its because it looks good on you and just you alone, therein making you uniquely you.

Either way or either choices, there's no right or wrong, only consequences and justifications. So for those of you who have strong jawlines, i shall end this blog trip with the many many benefits on being a handsome, happie woman, enjoi :)

10 Inspiring Reasons to Celebrate Your Strong, Squarish Jawline Today:

1. You carry the sexy, Aviator shades/sunnies look stylishly better than most women can

2. Your equal jawline and hairline gives a look of quiet determination, nobility, mystique and attractiveness

3. Somehow, dont ask me why ask a stylist, layered wavy cuts and rock-chic bangs will look good on you.

4. For those steeped in Hollywood, some of the world's beautiful women are celebs who celebrate their square- jaw look and make the best of their feature like Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Salma Hayek, Angelina Jolie, Geena Davis, Jennifer Garner, model Shalom Harlow and Cindy Crawford ( i can go on all day people!)

5. According to www.womenlargejaw.com , there are men who are attracted to women with square or well-defined jaw. They perceive this trait as sexy and mysterious and subconsciously look for women with this genetic trait. Your combined offsprings will have a well-balanced genetic pool.
from www.womenlargejaw.com

6. If you're a slow eater, having a strong jaw is perfect. You cover more ground in a single bite, prolonging the chewing experience

7. Strong jaws when exuding self-confidence and sex appeal form a lethal combination a la Angelina Jolie

8. Wanting to intimidate succesfully? Only you can give that impressive 'Gator Chomp' routine just like what LucyLiu did in Charlie's Angels during the Chess match scene with the child protegee

9. As weird as this sounds, people do go for surgery to get a square jaw. Looks like the grass is always greener on the other side.

10. Lastly, whether its for the good or bad, You DO stand out in the crowd with much less effort..so 'nuff said.

Queen Tour: They Bent My Spoon

2006-01-21T01:04:00.000+08:00

I had big expectations tonight when i packed my bag and cleared my work desk at 6.30pm sharp. My kookie colleagues couldnt believe their eyes when they saw me donning my sexy, red jumper, my face radiant with makeup (yep, the magic of colour peeps) cos normally i'd be looking like a dead, fish singing along to my ipod in severe monotones *grin*.

I was packing it in fast cos i had a date with a Queen tribute concert- It's a Kinda Magic! at the Esplanade. Figured that if i was planning on blowing 85 bucks on a Category 2 seat, might as well blow another 15 more just to plonk my ass on the VIP chair *lol*definitely a good call.

Flying Solo
A good thing too, cos nobody's a fan of Queen in my neighbourhood, so after 'what? queen? who's queen? -for the upteenth time, i cut my losses and booked a single ticket. Thats when again, i was reminded of Yan's absence. My dearest, darling co-conspirator was not with me cos if he was, he would be game to go like always even if he aint a big fan.. damn im gona ...so not cry! :P

Anyways blowing 100 bucks a good call? Yep sure was cos when i reach there, i got extra extra smiles, extra extra mile in guiding me to my seat (hey they dont do that to the other fans), a supremely better view of the entire stage and Queen's true style of flamboyance and mega mega mega lights! Think they used up a whole city of watts tonight. Sure, my eyes watered at the colourful lights and disco effects but hell, i had fun.

The band featured this 'as close as you can get to a Freddie Mercury persona' in Craig Pesco, Travis Hair as my favourite Brian May, Sean Nolan as John Deacon and Brett Millican as Roger Taylor. They played good, they sang good, and while the wigs didnt really convince me, these guys really know their stuff

I mean you gotta hand it to these guys. They obviously treasure Queen's memory cos everything they do, they're telling you that they are not here to replace the greats but to preserve their memory and give u a taste of almost but not quite..the real thing. Right up in my boxed seat, I could feel their passion for the music and the legend and it made being there worth it. Songs after songs, they never took a break- its like Another One Bites the Dust, Radio Ga Ga Don't stop me now, Crazy little thing called love, A kind of magic, Somebody to Love, I was born to Love you (one of my favs), Bohemian Rhapsody. They missed out Made in Heaven though and Too much Love will kill you.

The company?
Well, you know concerts in Singapore, it can be rock and it can roll here and there but the people would still be sitting on their asses. Those who would be standing up and waving madly would be people who throughout the concert would stand up 24/7, obscuring your vision. Theres really no middle way here. People love going to the extreme end of things. Tonight's concert was different, maybe they ate something right cos they were good company..they sang and dance along but the crowd didnt overdo the 'crazy waving' thing.

'Freddie' was good, his vocals were wonderful and I love the kinky costumes. Craig perfected some of the moves but yeah, the legend still held his own. I really wish Brian May was going to make an appearance but it was nice to know that Peter Freestone was there as well (Freestone was Freddie's personal assistant and friend till the day Freddie died).

We got an encore in Bohemian Rhapsody and there were these cool souveniers- official passes, Queen tee-shirt, a biography of the man himself. Pretty cool. Since Yan didnt get to be there, i did my own tribute by putting our tshirts together, Yeah i swiped his off him before he left.. for those lonely, lonely nights *grin*. His Bulldog and my Queen hahaha...okay serious business now..

Yan's due back in 2 weekends and man do i look forward to seeing him. I miss him loads and loads and i hear the sea is rough right now. [Honey, if you're reading this, please please eat right and get loads of r&r inbetween]. We communicate via msn cos he cant receive any calls..its nice to know hes right there every night and keeping me up to date with his life as a 'sailor' lol..bring home the uniform dear, and we'll play the Popeye and Olive gig.

Of course, he laments about the food onboard. I dont blame him, id get sick of western food too. When you're used to spices and a variety of tastes, you kinda get sick of potatoes and steaks fast. I'm a sambal queen, god knows if i would even survive a week there let alone 6 full weeks. No prata, fried noodles, chicken rice, spicy soups???? man..life is already tough enough..

dear, i hereby salute you *grin*

The blessed weekend is finally here. Gota accompany my girlfriend K to a chalet bbq later in the evening, have half a mind to cancel now cos im yawning like mad,hopefully by 6pm later, i'd have a change of heart cos its been awhile since i catch up with K.

Sigh miss my soulmate, *mentally counting*...16 more days till Yan comes back. Aint countdowns grand!

*Hits the sack*...night peeps :)

mean pair of jeans

2005-12-24T19:29:00.000+08:00

for the first time in 3 plus years, i finally donned a mean but absolutely fine pair of jeans! Why it took me that long? well its cos i have a dislike for it. An almost natural dislike cos it makes me feel claustrophobic with its tight blue stretch and tightly encased mold to the skin. Whenever I wear it, id go oh god i cant breathe..my legs cant breathe!

I guess I can understand why people all over the world are besotted with jeans, if you are slim, have long legs to show for or do not have love handles that bulge when you cinch the belt at the waist, you would be too. Well the long legs part i kinda have but the trail runs cold when you reach the 'slim' and ' love handles'.

Some people just look good with jeans but one thing i dont understand is why the hell would washing the jeans be bad? I know it would shrink the jeans but ive seen old, tattered jeans (that vintage look yeah right) remain unwashed for like a century and I cannot imagine sliding it on me. Its just plain disgusting. They, my friends, would be telling me that its CLEAN!

Also, whats with the fixation with Levi's jeans?? It's Levi's this, Levi's that so much so that other labels just dont cut it. If you buy another label, theyd have this horrified look on their faces (namely my girlfriends and boyfriend) wonder why u never stick to the true blue levi's tradition cos the material is soft and durable.

Anyways, I swallowed my aversion to jeans and donned it cos Yan has expressed many times that he yearns to see me in a pair of jeans. So before he left for his kampong stay with his family, i wore the jeans yesterday and he was enthralled. Lol, not sure why he would be maybe cos i lost a few kilos here and there but he said i looked different. Throughout our courtship and relationship, Ive always worn skirts, cargo pants, bermudas or black pants but never jeans.

Of course, I had to wear jeans to work too and my colleagues were like surprised to see me wear jeans. The usual compliments ensued and still true to nature, i fidgeted here and there, tried to pull my jeans upwards cos they kept sliding down. Worse, i had my period: Day One and it doesnt help that the crotch area felt like it was perspiring buckets due to my claustrophobia.

One more thing, hate jeans cos u can never find the one that fits you snugly from ass to butt to thigh. This one was nearly perfection (good dyes, style) 'cept that it kept on sliding from waist to buttcrack level. Very undignified.

Yan was pleasantly surprised to see me wear jeans when he came to pick me at work. I gotta admit the sacrifice was worth it to see the look on his face. Still cos it kept sliding down, Yan proclaimed we needed a belt to keep it up and me in comfort. Grateful and yet still uncomfortable, we rifled through several belts at Samuel and Kelvins and settled on a nice purple one with bronze flip down buckles. NICE! Costs Yan 15 bucks. A good buy definitely and he was happy cos i looked hip hoppish in my fine jeans, black/pink underground tee, purple belt and high heels. Short to say, I have finally evolved into his idea of the sexy woman.

Boy did i give him a major female ribbing, going 'Ohhh so i wasnt sexy before..what!? u want me to strut around looking sexy??....Are u saying i was fat before....Ahhhh so you love me more now cos im sexy!?!?

So you see, Yan's head was pretty much spinning from all these contradictory statements. Although i was putting on the russian roulette spin on things, deep down I know he loves me down to my 'monster' flaws so I quit while i was ahead *grin*. Love love love the belt bee!

Strangely, afer the belt, it felt quite comfy right right through waching Narnia yesterday. Maybe I might be persuaded to don it again and hopefully it would become more like a second skin just like Yan says. In the meantime, I managed to get a respite from it cos Yan's gone back and Im resting the whole day at home nursing bad cramps.

The pair of Jeans, unwashed, remains draped on the chair. Maybe tomorow.

Catfight at 2.43am. The Descent reeled me in again

2005-12-17T02:41:00.000+08:00

okay it can be pretty creepy when you're surfing online at way past 2 am, and the sleepy voice of your grandma says, "theres someone at the door..didn't you hear the bell ringing?"

Okay a little heads up, my grandma's been sleeping with me for the past week or so cos i think she misses me. About 5 minutes ago, tonight(or this morning) she just muttered those words
and was staring at me with white/grey hair so wild, she makes bird's nest look neat! Of course it doesnt help that I was surfing for movie or viewers review on the horror flick The Descent (if you're going- what the f? on this title, check out Movie grip post or go online). I went to the bedroom door and stood on jagged nerves for an encore but there was nothing.

Being the cheeky old lady that she is, i later realised that she was pulling my leg when she grinned up at me. Punked by an old lady seasoned pro that i am *slaps forehead*. Lucky for her i love her to pieces, figuratively. And the old lady and me, we'rethe best of buds.

Anyways, seconds after i settled back into my seat, I hear cats meow-ing their hearts out as of ready to get into a scuffle. Sounds feral, dangerous and altogether catty. Imagine frizzy tails pointing upwards. Not good.

Ordinarily I wouldnt be affected by it but today seems to be a horror theme for tv land, cable and even inside my head so almost anything would make me jumpy. Man, my bladder's ready to burst and im not even gona head to the bathroom.

I'm having a very fertile imagination right now and the cats could be meow-ing (still meowing)Cos they saw something. Think i better lay off the sweet juice, sugar rush makes you go all nuts and creeped out.

Grandma's sound asleep now, with what looks like a contented smile on her face. Love the way she sleeps. Shes this petite old lady who looks like shes approaching full circle in which she beomes a young girl again (i got punked didnt i?). Boy, does she know how to snore tho'

Its good shes bunking in, least i can do is to care for her in case she gets scared or anything or is it the other way around?

Best to quit while im ahead.

Lights out peeps!

Office Space - Cubicle No. 2 Not for Rent

2005-12-16T17:41:00.000+08:00

Yes, this is me reporting Alive (still in one piece) from the corporate jungle; the scene of blaring tv sets, ringing phones, supremely kookie colleagues (putting up xmas deco), and the faint smell of vanilla ice-cream (Ben and Jerry's??) yikes!! Looks like its going to be slow crawl to the end and people, the weather is set to continue looking absurdly gorgeous outside while we work towards our much awaited paychecks...yes tis the season to be spending tra la la la la la la la

Sorrie couldnt help myself on that one. the View from Cubicle No. 2 (my sanctuary from the jungle) is looking pretty good. The space tho 'rented' is still my own space and you have the employee right to put up a 'do-not enter-wild chameleon inside' sign up but only if you feel like conversing with your colleagues from the length of a ten-foot pole (when they go all kookie, trust me its safer that way).

I call it Cubicle No. 2 cos its right beside the Boss's room. I prefer to label his space a room cos its bigger than mine and smells so fresh its almost unreal. There's not even a whiff of cardboard and stinky cabbages or even vanilla ice-cream of unknown origins! Still, im parked behind another cubicle so that makes me No. 2 which in turn is just perfect. Its near the boss (woohoo level of significance up a notch?) and its out of the 'laser beam' range. Yep, nothing like your own office space [savouring the happie cubicle moment jumping up and down]

Situation around here is pretty calm (rough translation: one kookie colleague roughing up the fridge cos someone called him an ape + big, Happie noise) cos the bigwigs arent around and we have a hot dance number to do before the entire company during the Xmas party. Everyone's starting to cheer up their own cubicles with festive decorations and i think i saw fat ol Santa dangling on the ceiling by his..erm..bootie? Now thats what i call dark comedy *grin*

Since Cubicle No. 2 is kinda my home away from home, it holds many precious memories. This was where i first, among many things

got electrocuted, tiny frissons of love connections running up my arm. Now thats what happen when you try to force feed 7 plugs down an old power supply block.
left an unmovable stain on my comfy chair on a very red day and having to adhere to countless male jibes who went.. eeeeeeeeeeeeeew whats that?
crawled under a desk, a grown woman huddling like a baby, and took a 10min power nap
discovered that i could actually plug in my Ipod to the CPU (yeah u can go Duh! all you like) instead of tuning in to online radio stations that constantly buffer
got my maiden compliment from my ex-boss on my job performance 3 months into my employment
got my first 'mysterious' insect bite that caused my wrist to swell and later on, grow numb
the place where i can seek refuge and ponder when the going gets tough and rough and you just wana cry your eyes out but of course i never did being the strong-made- of- sterner -stuff woman that i am

All in all, there are many things to glow about. For one thing, theres a big jar of munchies that I can help myself to, a nice purple cushion to prop against, my very own mini pantry (a big fat mug, sugar sachets and a box of Dilmah tea). The English love their tea time , and well I can understand that cos tea can reallie strengthen your resolve to march right in and ask your boss for a raise and even stronger resolve to march right back out to your cubicle for some 'cubicular comfort' if refused point blank.

Time is winding down and though work shows no sign of abating, im glad. My cubicle No.2 and kookie colleagues make it a good place to be. It don't matter that your brain is challenged every single day and that you're constantly caught in the hustle and bustle of competitive politics, point is- you have your own space to churn out quality work from *grin*. Wouldnt trade it and ill hang on tight till my nails bleed or mark my territory with errmm saltwater if i have to if that major moving exercise theyve been yapping about happens.

Time: 6.15pm - Time to harass one of the kookie ones for a scoop of vanilla!

Sleep and the magic of Past Noon

2005-12-11T13:50:00.000+08:00

While I've pretty much blasted my carefully laid morning plans, there are plenty of *big yawn* benefits to being awakened by Yan's incessant ringing at 1.45pm, one of which is I won't have to repeat the ancient ritual of bed wetting cos my pee was by then, ready to burst.

Let's face it, Im not a morning person. It doesnt matter if I turn in early or late cos I'd still wake up late. My sis always gripes that Id be this bad-ass grouch in the morning particularly when I refuse to 'answer' her conversations, choosing instead to stare up at the ceiling before getting my towel and slamming the room door behind me. Hey, don't get me wrong, I wasn't pissed at my sis or anything but i think my anger management course tends to go into hyperdrive after 6am and before 1pm.

I'm a flatulence kid- Also, my stomach's tendency to produce an unholy amount of gas and acid makes me grouchy too cos id be feeling as bloated as a walrus and cos ive made plans, ill have to get up and get ready to meet my pals or Yan. Thank god of course, that by the time i meet them, the gas would have subsided but of course the first hand victim would be my sis, much to her annoyance hehe

-karen hill.net

[You'd think that my moniker Girlawake just don't cut it but it has a story behind it. Every morning/noon, my nokia would ring and if i choose to answer it, the galfren on the other line would probably go- girl, you awake ah?- And thats just swell, cos im awake hence the ability to answer the call :). So you see Girlawake is an irony onto itself *grin*

Oh oh gona be late again, later peeps

Caught in a movie grip

2005-12-11T01:24:00.000+08:00

Finally I can call myself a movie junkie. Every week catching a flick with Yan is a ritual that we both cant do without. It works that both of us love horror flicks, have an eagerness to sample even the weirdest of indiependent films, even if it is a horror flick from the UK.

You see, we have this notion that any british horror would be a horrendous experience cos they border most of the times, on the B-grade. If its American, it had to be good [note past tense].

So the story goes, that yesterday, we hauled ass to Lido, bought ourselves fastfood movie dinners and plonked down watching new movie previews while waiting for The Descent at 9.45pm. We both groaned whilst munching on carbo-dripping fries when its preview came with the UK tag. Id like to think that we went on to watch it cos we were simply, intellectually [hah!]curious [and not just cos we're a couple of stingy pokes who had parted with 8.50 a piece].

Man were we dead wrong, the movie was good, so good, i think i left indelible scars on Yan's tummy [don't ask] and left arm [ yeah i was so disturbed i reached across his chest to squeeze his other arm.. yeahhh].

It was disturbing cos first of all i hate small spaces/nooks/cranies, whatever you call em and to see 6 women roughing it out in a cave, exploring by means of crawling through small 'pipes' just screams out CLAUSTROPHOBIA! Not only that, there were toyol-like creatures with slimy puke gurgling in and out of their bodies, hunching forward and picking these women off like they were wrestling contenders and biting, yes bite!, in unhealthy, chunky bite-sizes. In short, you have the darkness, rotting bloodied carcasses, scary nooks and cranies in a cave that has no end + flesh eating 'toyols' scampering around. Yep, UK was definitely flying an A-grade flag on this one.

Still, I was asking Yan if he agreed with Sara- the main character's [she has to be, she was the only survivor] decision to 'off' her friend, Juno, who had earlier on accidentally snapped another friend's neck cos she was still in a bloodlust zone [Juno had just impressively battled a 'Toyol' and the dumb/dead friend went up behind her without warning and you know what happened next]. Sara wanted vengeance and off-ed Juno later on in the movie. Yan agreed with me cos he felt 2 surviving heads were better than 1. Men, pragmatic as always. For me, I felt it was completely unjustified cos the unsuspecting Juno wanted to keep on searching for Sara even though she had already found the way out.

Anyways, today, one of the first few things Yan said to me when I got into the car was if we were gonna watch a movie today and I went 'hehhh..' before he sheepishly said,' Oh yeahh..we watched a movie yesterday'.

Instead, we went to Orchard Point, wanting to see the Anugerah Vcd launch but ended up having delicious Thai food at the Le Meredien building where we met Nina! and her aunt who were also having lunch. Man it was great seeing her, gorgeous soul if a bit dysfunctional hehe kidding nin! I think we must have rounded the food court twice before deciding on prawn omelette, seafood noodles, bamboo chicken soup and lotsa lotsa sambal. Later on, I suffered the consequence of this sambal action while we were checking out centrepoint..sniff..my stomach has completely gone south on me..not as strong as before sigh...Anyways, whenever Yan and I go out, we would definitely eat alot so afterwards we decided to tone things down a little for dinner. We ended up having steak, fish and chips, 2 root beer floats and vanilla icecream *shut your sniggering*.

Today has got to be the best day with loads of r&r in between before Sunday rolls in. Its great to spend the day with my other half. I can see Yan and me leading this blissful life for a long, long time *grin*. We've been at it for 1 and half years, very blissful butof course there are my 'monster' moments where Yan swears id turn from sweet to being a complete monster, someone he doesnt seem to know anymore hehe like a movie script. But whats life without the added spice of a Doc Jekyll and Ms Hyde moment dear *lol* No don't lie, you know you love the 'monster' moments grrrr

Once again the impending outstation is looming once again with Yan set to leave next month for 6 weeks tops. Ill miss him loads and loads. Thank god for my faithful and bee-utiful girlfriends. One tip girls, never ever put your galfrens aside for a piece of errm..opposite gender [language control] even if he happens to be the love of your life. Balance, is after all the great state of all things. Experienced this crap before when my girlfriend got in touch with me when she was lonely but once her opposite-gender appeared, chucked moi aside..sheeesh!

Still, I feel blessed, that with all of life's immense challenges, I still have the love of great friends, a sexy opposite-gender x 1 and my wonderful extended family [dad, marmie, sis, grandma, grandpa and Tiara, from Indonesia who has been with us for like 3 plus years!]

Yep, think i can hit the sack now with a big :) on my face. Later peeps!

*blissful snores*

In different hues

2005-12-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

So I'm a little left of center I'm a little out of tune Some say I'm paranormal So I just bend their spoon Who wants to be ordinary In a crazy, mixed-up world I don't care what they're sayin' As long as I'm your girl -michelle b.

closer

something wicked this way comes

2005-12-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

October 9, 2005-9:40pm (Singapore)

We're a bunch of lucky people. To wake up alive and safe every single day is a blessing when on the other side of the world, death is playing russian roulette on continents. You wonder after the killer tsunamis, hurricanes and earthquakes, 'where' is next and all you can do is pray and hope that people will find their solace amidst the large scale tragedies that have happened. I am selfishly grateful to God for this little island that is barely a dot on the world map but is still untouched by these large scale disasters- still, luck is definitely not a word you want to bank on 'cos like everything else, they always run out.
Watching a re-run of the Day after Tomorrow is not a good idea tonight. I'm watching it with my usual intensity, but inside I can sense a bubble of panic at the thought that maybe movies are truly our subconscious acknowledgement of the fact that art imitates not only life but the future as well.
There I go again, going all morbid and philosophical, when tomorrow I'll have to haul my ass to work and crack my skull for 8 hours. Its amazing how there can be millions of people suffering out there, and I'm griping about work, a major skunk of a CEO and yes huge expectations amidst limited resources. The 'white letter' just dont cut it anymore when you've got bills to pay and if you're interested in ending a 'bachelorgirl' kinda life sometime in the future. Fortunately, i still love my job, the media line still holds that much excitement for me, so i guess i'll be hanging around for a while.
Yan, my boyfriend is still overseas, outstation on some ship in Western Australia searching for minerals and oil. I wish he's back cos nothing's stable these days but I have faith that everything is going to be alright. I bet its cold out there but he said it was fine. At this time of the year, WA should be colder than ever before it hits November. Reminds me of my university days when the heater would break down, after making this loud, roaring sound and I'd be shivering till 4plus in the morning. I really really miss him but it wont be long till he comes back. Can't believe we've been together for one and half year, im super glad my short attention span syndrome short circuited.
Its the fasting month now where we abstain from food and drinks from 5 plus till 7pm in the evening where we break fast together. I love this part of the month cos there is a strong sense of anticipation. Your stomach feels lighter and you think better, kinda like a cool detox trip but with discipline. Physical fasting is not too bad but the real challenge lies in fasting for the soul where you abstain from bitching, anger, greed, and all things negative - hmm we'll see. For now, its time to hit the sack.

*Snore*